Ahh Thanksgiving. Nothing like a turkey dinner and football to kick start the holidays. I mean really I’ve been seeing Christmas decorations and commercials since before Halloween- pipe down. It always seems as if everyone forgets that Thanksgiving actually exists until you wake up and realize you don’t have work that day. One scratches their head and remembers they have a turkey to put in the oven before the 25+ family members show up in 4 hours. Joy.
I’ve always felt bad for Thanksgiving, all anyone cares about in November is Black Friday (barf). I’m one of the ones who really loves Thanksgiving- mostly because the only thing I can think about is my mom’s signature Portuguese stuffing once November 1st rolls around.
I know Thanksgiving can be stressful for some; seeing family you don’t particularly want to see, eating more than big foot can fit in his stomach, and having to explain your life story 15 times in 1 day. I get it. I’ve compiled a list of a few things that may help you get through your Turkey day this year, no matter who you’re spending it with. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me in the past!
Go out the night beforehand. BUT- don’t drink yourself into oblivion. I’ve gone out drinking the night before Thanksgiving for the past 6 years since my freshman year of college. What is better than eating a home cooked turkey dinner to cure your hangover? Comfort food = your hangover’s best friend. If you’re the one cooking the Thanksgiving meal PLEASE NOTE: prepare turkey AHEAD OF TIME. Last year I cooked for my boyfriend an our friend in NC, and thought it would be a great idea to de-gut a raw turkey while being disgustingly hungover. Bad idea. Don’t do that.
Wear your fat pants. Or don’t, it depends what kind of contest you are trying to enter yourself into with the scale later on that night. No matter what kind of “diet” you’re on, you can afford to let loose for one day. No one should have to sit there in the tightest jeans they own, uncomfortable, because those tight pants didn’t stop you from eating half of your own body weight anyway. Quit the calorie counting and obsessing over whether this slice of pie is going to break the scale- because chances are it probably will. Luckily Thanksgiving is only one day and there’s always tomorrow to get back on track.
Steer clear of saying things you’ll regret. Anytime you feel like you’re having diarrhea of the mouth, stuff it with more mashed potatoes. You don’t want to be the point of gossip at the next holiday party because you “criticized” a great aunt. We all know you’d rather be anywhere but near those types of relatives, but there’s really just no escaping it on Thanksgiving. Sit pretty and keep the wine flowing. Which brings me to my next tip…
Drink as much wine as you need. Luckily for you, most guests will be drinking as well (depending on what type of family you have). To ease the discomfort you may be feeling when faced with distant relatives, snatch a bottle and hold it hostage. You may be judged if you’re not sneaky about it, so be mindful of who’s over your shoulder. And remember, wine goes good with everything- even pie.
Be vague, very vague. Being in my early 20’s, my family can’t get enough of what I’m currently doing with my life. The answer is…NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS. As much as I know how much you’d like to get on top of the dining room table and make a PSA stating this to all, you can’t…for obvious reasons. So we’re forced to defend our current life situation, whatever that may be, while still attempting to make it seem like we aren’t complete failures. No need to get into specifics here, just a few minor details here and there to keep them satisfied.
Happy Turkey Day!!!!!
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